Sunday, December 12, 2010

Life isn't fair, glimmers of hope, and Christmas.

Life. The older I get the more I don't understand. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around? Anyway. Adam had two appointments this week. The first was at the audiologist he's seen for oh, 7 years or so :P. We love Jill. We trust Jill. Jill is awesome. But, we can't see Jill any more for anything other than ordering hearing aids, and getting them programmed, oh and ordering ear molds. Insurance red-tape has taken yet another trusted specialist out of our life. I never imagined seeing all of this. Anyway... We met a new E.N.T. yesterday and he's pretty cool, Adam liked him and trusted him. OH and got clearance for new hearing aids!! Congratulations, your kid is still severely hard of hearing!! Woo HOO!!! (sorry for the sarcasm) 
My kid is awesomesauce.... He picked out zebra striped hearing aids with red and black swirled ear molds. Yes, we get excited about ear molds! Yes, I let my children's personalities flow.... I believe that our personalities are "ours" before we're born, God made us the way we are. Not that we can't improve, but we should never ever conform to someone else's idea of what's "right" or "normal".
So ...we get home from all that awesomeness and for some reason I decide to start talking to Adam about his Make-A-Wish. Bad idea. How on earth can something that is supposed to be so..... um??....Happy? Spin you downwards so fast??? Oh. Yeah. The whole life threatening illness thing. Anyways, he wants to go on a trip. Don't know where yet, but that's the direction he's headed. Maybe we'll swing south and visit with Mickey and Shamu for a while.... Swim with dolphins in Australia, Cruise on over to the bahamas....or maybe just keep to ourselves in a little beach cottage. Whatever he decides he'd like to do I stand behind him 150%. its his time to shine, our time to forget about all of this mess, and just enjoy. Unfortunately with that comes the realization that there may come a day where our lil man doesn't fill our house with sunshine, we don't hear those awesome tear rolling belly laughs of his, and we may not get to see that twinkle in his eye that he's had since I don't even know when. THAT is why we are determined to make his life the best we can make it. Our children know that life is short, and unfair and they've known this forever. They get scared, heck....Keith and I get scared. But...we can't live like that. We have hope. We have had hope when nobody else has. We've been told to just take him home and enjoy him...Um no. We've had hope through 1,2, 3, 5, 6,8 and 9 diagnoses. All different. All heartbreaking. All filled with HOPE for his future. This Christmas is the best one yet. He's here. God has heard our prayers and answered them. We have more time bought for us through the hands and expertise of amazing surgeons, who took the time to listen to a crazy mom..... and that small still voice that wouldn't quit telling us that there was more going on...Right now, all is well in our world as 3 little snoring children are all snug in their beds. Thank you , God, for sending your son. THANK YOU so much for answering our prayers for our son.