Thursday, December 23, 2010

The forgotten post

I can. NOT . Believe I forgot to post this!!!!!!! NO C-COLLAR!!!!!!! Adam had his 6 week follow up , after x-rays on the 15th of this month. "The fusion is solid!" The best words I've ever heard. Hands down. Adam is a wild man....back to normal.. He even said to me today: "Mom!!! I'm not sad anymore!!!" ..... Hallelujah. We don't have to walk into that neurosurgery office for another 4 months. Hearing aids will be ready the 28th, eye doctor the 30th and speech pathologist/dentist/orthodontist next month along with C.P. clinic. Baby's gettin some new shoes! Hopefully his back and legs will get to feeling even better and Mama and Daddy won't have to buy shoes so often because he wears holes in the right heel. Merry Christmas!!!!!!! May ALL your dreams come true :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

a little about the other littles ;)

Ok so for the first time since my mom died, I'm really into Christmas this year. I've decorated :) even the outside of the house!! Nothing amazing is going to happen, the kids won't wake up to a new bike or swing set....There isn't a new Lexus in our living room....but.... Everyone that is supposed to be here IS here. It has taken me a long time to come to that realization. I miss my mom, Keith's mom, Aunt Laura, Evie and our angel, our little precious one that we never got a Christmas with. OF COURSE I'd love for them to be here and have a wonderful, cozy, post card Christmas. That wasn't the hand of cards we were dealt though. Sometimes I think they can see us and know what's going on with us. To probably does look like a postcard. Or, maybe it looks like when you're driving around to look at Christmas lights and you see that one house with the curtains open. You can see the lights on the tree, the kids playing with their new can almost smell the dinner that took all day to cook. It warms the soul for me to see that. Not that I'm the creepy stalker type, but you know... lol. These past few months have really made a change in me. I do still fuss at the kids, they still get in trouble...but every time I am SO thankful. We have four GORGEOUS kids who have never gone without. They have all had their struggles and all persevered. We've almost lost the two boys but every night they are tucked in with their matchbox cars and whatever else they sneak into bed. Harold was born with a heart rate below 50. Cord tied around his neck at least twice. Nothing but sheer determination on both our parts, my husband's prayers and strength, and the skill of a wonderful midwife brought him in this world.  Ellie is the light at probably the longest, darkest tunnel Keith and I have ever traveled down. Now our world is filled with fairies, princesses, and everything PINK! Emily is the strongest 13 year old I've ever met. From the first time I met her she's made my heart melt. Through everything she's been right there with us. She's down to earth, genuine, and just down right beautiful inside and out. She knows what she wants in life and is willing to do anything to reach her goals. We live for their smiles and kisses.. I hope that they know they are the best gifts we've ever gotten and we are truly blessed to have them in our lives. There isn't anything  grand going on here on Christmas day, but our hearts are bursting, in the best way imaginable :)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Life isn't fair, glimmers of hope, and Christmas.

Life. The older I get the more I don't understand. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around? Anyway. Adam had two appointments this week. The first was at the audiologist he's seen for oh, 7 years or so :P. We love Jill. We trust Jill. Jill is awesome. But, we can't see Jill any more for anything other than ordering hearing aids, and getting them programmed, oh and ordering ear molds. Insurance red-tape has taken yet another trusted specialist out of our life. I never imagined seeing all of this. Anyway... We met a new E.N.T. yesterday and he's pretty cool, Adam liked him and trusted him. OH and got clearance for new hearing aids!! Congratulations, your kid is still severely hard of hearing!! Woo HOO!!! (sorry for the sarcasm) 
My kid is awesomesauce.... He picked out zebra striped hearing aids with red and black swirled ear molds. Yes, we get excited about ear molds! Yes, I let my children's personalities flow.... I believe that our personalities are "ours" before we're born, God made us the way we are. Not that we can't improve, but we should never ever conform to someone else's idea of what's "right" or "normal".
So ...we get home from all that awesomeness and for some reason I decide to start talking to Adam about his Make-A-Wish. Bad idea. How on earth can something that is supposed to be so..... um??....Happy? Spin you downwards so fast??? Oh. Yeah. The whole life threatening illness thing. Anyways, he wants to go on a trip. Don't know where yet, but that's the direction he's headed. Maybe we'll swing south and visit with Mickey and Shamu for a while.... Swim with dolphins in Australia, Cruise on over to the bahamas....or maybe just keep to ourselves in a little beach cottage. Whatever he decides he'd like to do I stand behind him 150%. its his time to shine, our time to forget about all of this mess, and just enjoy. Unfortunately with that comes the realization that there may come a day where our lil man doesn't fill our house with sunshine, we don't hear those awesome tear rolling belly laughs of his, and we may not get to see that twinkle in his eye that he's had since I don't even know when. THAT is why we are determined to make his life the best we can make it. Our children know that life is short, and unfair and they've known this forever. They get scared, heck....Keith and I get scared. But...we can't live like that. We have hope. We have had hope when nobody else has. We've been told to just take him home and enjoy him...Um no. We've had hope through 1,2, 3, 5, 6,8 and 9 diagnoses. All different. All heartbreaking. All filled with HOPE for his future. This Christmas is the best one yet. He's here. God has heard our prayers and answered them. We have more time bought for us through the hands and expertise of amazing surgeons, who took the time to listen to a crazy mom..... and that small still voice that wouldn't quit telling us that there was more going on...Right now, all is well in our world as 3 little snoring children are all snug in their beds. Thank you , God, for sending your son. THANK YOU so much for answering our prayers for our son.