Wednesday, September 26, 2012

10 Things I Want Our Other Kids To Know

Adam is home on fall break which means my routine is messed up. If my routine is messed up EVERYONE'S routine is messed up. I was just sitting here thinking that there are SO many things I wish I could tell my other kids. They are 15, 7 and 5. So I'm going to write down ten of them. Enjoy <3 p="p">
1) You are JUST as important, special, loved and miraculous as your brother. So many times we get caught up in appointments, medicines, treatments, therapies and school work that we don't take the time to look you in the eye and tell you that you are loved just as much. Even if we forget to say it, we see the 97 in 10th grade math, the 100's in all your 2nd grade classes and the fact that you are finally able to write an A beautifully! We are so proud of you!

2) I wish we could spend more one on one time together. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to step back and let your brother take up so much of our time. All three of you are so patient with us and wait until we have spare time to spend with you individually. Harold- you show us so much grace it's unreal. Emily- you're right there beside us, helping us take care of your brother. You always forgive us when we have to change plans. Ellie- my precious... You're growing up so fast. I love being surrounded by your pinks and purples, glitter and baby dolls. Stay little just a little while longer.

3) Your strength amazes me.  The hospitals, the surgeries, the needles, emergency rooms, doctors, and medicines don't scare you. If it does, you deal with it and move on. I honestly don't know how you do it. God gave you all amazing strength. You can, and have dealt with unimaginable things and you came out stronger.

4) It's ok not to be strong all the time. I know- kind of weird after number 3...but seriously. Come to us with your problems. Cry on our shoulders if you need to. We're your parents and we want to help. Nobody is going to love you more than we do. Other than God. Ever.

5) TELL US. About your stupid argument with your friend at school. That you just can't figure out this math problem. (Emily)  That moving up in Sunday school and having to leave your best friend behind is kinda hard on you (Ellie). That you want to play football and baseball (Harold).  We want to know the day to day of your lives. This is normal- and normal is GOOD! :)

6) Frustration is normal.  Sometimes we all have bad days. We all get frustrated. It's ok to be that way. If you're frustrated in a situation- take a step back from it. Just leave it. Go ahead. It'll be there when you get your emotions under control.

7) It's ok to grieve. Your brother won't be the star quarterback. He struggles in school. Every day situations are overwhelming to him sometimes. He won't give you any nieces or nephews. You will have to help him for the rest of his life. Some days are just bad days. It's ok to be sad about it. It's ok to think about the future and grieve the what if's, the never wills, and the how's...

8) We serve an AWESOME God. Never underestimate His power. Ever. You have been witness of many miracles in your brother's life. Never forget that. Even when everything is all doom and gloom. He's the light at the end of the tunnel. Rest in him.

9) Adam LOVES you. Even if he yells at you. Even if he cries. Even if he says doesn't. Even if it seems like he gets sick or has a bad day whenever we have something planned just for you. It isn't on purpose.

10) Never ever give up. Ever. On anything. It's a famous quote. I don't remember who from... but it's true. Do you! Don't give up! We'll all get through this together. Remember that 'Incredibles' shirt that Adam has?? Well you need one too!

I can keep going on and on... Hopefully the kids read this one day. For now- I'm going to work on showing them more often.

Special needs kids are amazing. Their siblings are sometimes even more amazing. They're the ones ditching friends for using the "r" word. They push wheelchairs and strollers for tired moms and dads. They are the ones hugging melting down kids in the grocery stores just so mom can finish at the cash register. They do the dishes when mom falls asleep sitting up after dinner. They get up early in the morning for that 10-20 minutes of one on one time before school. They know how to measure medicine and can tell the doctor every one of their sibling's diagnoses. Their world stops when ours does. And they carry on where we left off after we die.