Monday, April 18, 2011

To Adams: The day before your 8th birthday

Dear Bug,
I want you to know that I love you so very much and I have always known that you were an extraordinary child...from the day I found out that I was pregnant with you I knew that you were going to teach me so much about life. I got pregnant with you during a huge change in my life, you suprised me that's for sure, but walking into that doctor's office first thing in the morning I gave it up to God... if I was going to have a child it was going to be because it was ordered by Him (and Nanna and Auntie Laura... My exact words before getting out of the car were " Ok Mama, Laura, and what you want")... Being pregnant with you gave me the drive I needed to have a better life, every decision I have made has been to give you the best that I can... Your biological father still hasn't ceased to amaze me with his lack of care about you. It's his loss, we have gotten to enjoy every milestone, heartache, and triumph that has come with your life and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Your Daddy loves you as his own son, he cut your cord when you were born and has been right there with you ever since.  In 24 1/2 hours from now you will officially be 8 years old. This time 8 years ago I was begging for more time so I wouldn't have to have a c-section...that was the biggest fear I had for some reason. I didn't know how all this would turn out, I was expecting a perfectly healthy little boy because all of the testing the doctors had done came out just fine. I didn't know what was going on, you seemed fine.. I'm so sorry Bug... I'd give anything just to take a little pain from you....and if you do get mad at me sometime, I hope you forgive me. Daddy and I love you so very very much and are so proud of you! Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you have a purpose. Everything you go through we are right there with you cheering you on, catching you when you fall, and celebrating when you overcome obstacles... There will never be anyone else on this Earth that loves you as much as your family does... Time sure does fly little man, you aren't so little anymore. I hope you always make sure to hug me before school, keep that silly laugh of yours, tell your Daddy you love him SO much, and act like your Papa with your out from nowhere jokes and that twinkle in your eye. I don't know what the future holds and that is kind of scary but I know whatever comes, we'll take it and handle it as well as we can. Happy Birthday, sweet boy! May you have many many more.. We love you!