a little about the other littles ;)

Ok so for the first time since my mom died, I'm really into Christmas this year. I've decorated :) even the outside of the house!! Nothing amazing is going to happen, the kids won't wake up to a new bike or swing set....There isn't a new Lexus in our living room....but.... Everyone that is supposed to be here IS here. It has taken me a long time to come to that realization. I miss my mom, Keith's mom, Aunt Laura, Evie and our angel, our little precious one that we never got a Christmas with. OF COURSE I'd love for them to be here and have a wonderful, cozy, post card Christmas. That wasn't the hand of cards we were dealt though. Sometimes I think they can see us and know what's going on with us. To them...it probably does look like a postcard. Or, maybe it looks like when you're driving around to look at Christmas lights and you see that one house with the curtains open. You can see the lights on the tree, the kids playing with their new toys...you can almost smell the dinner that took all day to cook. It warms the soul for me to see that. Not that I'm the creepy stalker type, but you know... lol. These past few months have really made a change in me. I do still fuss at the kids, they still get in trouble...but every time I am SO thankful. We have four GORGEOUS kids who have never gone without. They have all had their struggles and all persevered. We've almost lost the two boys but every night they are tucked in with their matchbox cars and whatever else they sneak into bed. Harold was born with a heart rate below 50. Cord tied around his neck at least twice. Nothing but sheer determination on both our parts, my husband's prayers and strength, and the skill of a wonderful midwife brought him in this world.  Ellie is the light at probably the longest, darkest tunnel Keith and I have ever traveled down. Now our world is filled with fairies, princesses, and everything PINK! Emily is the strongest 13 year old I've ever met. From the first time I met her she's made my heart melt. Through everything she's been right there with us. She's down to earth, genuine, and just down right beautiful inside and out. She knows what she wants in life and is willing to do anything to reach her goals. We live for their smiles and kisses.. I hope that they know they are the best gifts we've ever gotten and we are truly blessed to have them in our lives. There isn't anything  grand going on here on Christmas day, but our hearts are bursting, in the best way imaginable :)