Saturday, September 18, 2010

While I'm waiting

EEG was yesterday. 5 business days until we find out the wasn't bad , really. Adam was, as always, SUCH a trooper! We kept him up until 12 last night and woke up at 6 this morning because they wanted him to be tired so he could sleep through part of the test. Anyway....with an EEG they put this abrasive cleanser on your head in the spots that the mark for the electrodes, then conductive cream, electrodes, and tape. Adam layed through all that with NO problem.....At one point he reached his hand out to me so I took it and held it. I smiled at him and he smiled back, then said "You're ok mom. You're ok." I choked back the tears and told him yes I'm ok. He has this way of giving me a look or saying something to me when my heart  is breaking. I try very hard not to look or act worried in front of him but I guess I'm not so great at it.  He was so great. I love that little boy with every bit of heart I've got and then some. I worry sometimes that the other kids feel like they aren't as loved, or don't get as much attention as they should. Its a very hard balance having a special needs child when you have other children. It takes SO much time and effort that frankly we're exhausted. I hope there are no seizures on the test...but at the same time if there aren't then something else is going on. So long story we wait. and pray.